whimsy

oblivious

I’m dying. Ok, well… I am sick and feel like death warmed over so to pass the time as I cough my lungs up, I’m watching The Office on netflix. Funny show, but not in the typical haha funny that is popular on television. No, this is more like the kind of funny that makes …

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on any given sunday

In my family, there are few things that are universally agreed on. We disagree on politics, religion, philosophy, and economics and those are just the things we disagree on before breakfast. But the one thing we all agree on is that the San Diego Chargers are the most exciting football team to ever grace god’s …

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pusher-man

Let’s play spot the hypocrite… republican christian version… Who: * Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006) * Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002) * Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000) * Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep …

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money

By nature I am a gambler. In fact, at one point one might say my gambling was an issue with me… not a problem, because problem denotes negative experiences. I never lost money I didn’t have. I would fluctuate from being ahead by $50k to being absolutely broke-ass. I never borrowed money, nor did I …

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up the down uppercase

i hate uppercase letters. i always have. in college, when i had to do typography projects, i would eschew uppercase letters much to the chagrin of my teachers. typography teachers love uppercase letters. so do architecture teachers since most of the labels and call outs on architectural designs are uppercase. not me though. i hate …

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live in skin

I’m not sure about the rest of you cats, but I’ve often wondered about the myriad of beauty products sold to women. There’s lotions, peels, scrubs, masks, ointments, salves, salts, dyes, and a few others I have no way of categorizing without a degree in chemical engineering. The Red Queen is an esthetician by trade …

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strangelove

I like zombies. Anyone who pays attention to the way I operate will probably say, “It figures.” See, I believe zombies are the perfect human machines*. No longer tied to the rules that hold humanity back, zombies are free to explore the undiscovered territory of their potential. Humans are, by and large, held back by …

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fuck you and your cat*

I curse like a whore with tourettes, but when I was a kid, my dad forbid cursing in the house. Like anyone who lives under the soul crushing weight of authority, once free of the bonds of supervision, I experimented heavily. My favorite curse word these days is cocksucker. According to Wikipedia.org, cocksucker is considered …

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sooner or later

Ever wonder what a day in the life of a freelance writer is like? Well, as much as I’d like to say that it is filled with unbeliveable amounts of alcohol broken up by bouts of creative genius, it’s really not like that at all. One of my favorite writers, Ernest Hemingway, would write on …

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short people

I’m posting the latest financial information requested by the whineylimey (Posted by: WhineyLimey | March 12, 2005 02:35 PM). Pygmy Orphan Inc.(NYSE:POI) was up 77 cents per share to $39.31 after the Congo conglomerate named former Fantasy Island star Ricardo Montalban as chairman and CEO, hoping his experience with both persons of short stature and …

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