inherently different

Archive for the ‘island life’ Category

I like living in a tropical zone, but I do miss the mild summer weather in San Francisco every so often. Like today when the heat soared above 90, the trade winds died down, and the clouds kept the heat bottled in like a fat lady clinging to the last HoHo.

On days like this, I miss the bay area, when even the hottest summer day was comfortable.

Although I grew up in an area of San Diego County that is considered the High Desert — summer there delivered excessively hot days, — it is a dry heat. Here, the hotter the day, the higher the humidity. I suppose it stands to reason that humidity would be high here… we are, after all surrounded by some 6000 miles of water in every direction. As the temperature rises, so to does the evaporate from the ocean’s surface, making the area constantly… well, wet. Or threatening to be wet.

Maui has a couple thousand micro climates. Move a foot in any direction and chances are the temperature is different. I once straddled a crevice in the sidewalk and it was snowing on one side, and blowing a blazing hot dust storm on the other. True story.

So while you mainlanders enjoy another mild summer, thanks in part to Global Warming, think of me sweating like one of my people running from the border patrol.

I have very little patience for certain things. Ok, full disclosure… I have very little patience for anything that is even remotely based on stupidity. Things that fall into the category of “new age” such as herbal remedies, crystals, shit like that. I am pretty sure those types of things exist solely to show the world just who the dumbest mother fuckers on the planet are.

Unfortunately, I live on an island that is filled with these crazy ass cocksuckers. I mean I can’t throw a rock without it bouncing off two or three of them. If there is some crap ideology, chances are there is an institute devoted to it here on Maui. It is a painful existence to walk into any establishment and have to listen to these absolute morons wax poetic about how this “healer” or that “shaman” or whatever title these charlatans are using these days “helped” this delusional nutbag cure their malady.

While I was thinking about how the per capita of these nut fuckers seems extremely high on Maui, I remembered that when I moved to San Francisco in the early 90s, I said aloud, “someone should round all these dumb fuckers up and ship them to some island in the middle of the pacific.”

It is either irony or the 7th circle of hell. I am unsure which.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about humanity… the things that make us human as it were. For most people, humanity is was separates us from the animals. Duh! you say… The thing is, humans are not born with the emotional and mental tools necessary for “humanity” or kindness or compassion. We have to learn humanity at an early age, left to our instincts, man (and woman) would be only slightly better than animals. I find it oddly comforting that most people completely disagree with this because their brains cannot process certain truths.

For instance… sanity. What is it? How is it measured? What does it really mean?

Lets look at it another way…

A man goes for a walk. On his walk he encounters a man who begins to berate him for wearing a sweater vest. In response the man in the sweater vest beats the man to death with a brick he picks up from the ground. When he is finished bashing this mans brains in, he continues on his walk without any thought to his previous actions.

Which man is insane and which man is sane?

Culturally, we have rules that prevent responding to external experiences violently. Call it the “civil” part of civilization. The idea that disputes can be handled without resorting to our base instincts. Instinctually though, as the previous thought suggests, human beings respond to all stimulus in one of two ways… fight or flight. Civilization is really another way of saying domestication. That domestication is the product of hundreds of years of culturally forced rules (or morals) that are meant to make people more likely to be controlled, often times by weaker, less intelligent people.

Click on READ MORE to see a video that proves my point that there is no such thing as a selfless act… or at least shows how funny Friends was back in the day…

Read the rest of this entry »

The original 100 things can be found here.

100. I have not watched broadcast television (live tv) in three years (not counting charger games at the local bar).
99. From the time I was 5 until I was 38, I could probably count the number of times I have been sick on both hands.
98. Since 2004 when I moved to Maui, I have had at least 12 colds and half as many flu viruses.
97. I read a lot of blogs and have come to realize a great many of the people who write them would drive me crazy if I knew them in real life.
96. I rarely sleep for more than 5 hours a night and frequently sleep much less.
95. It isn’t insomnia, I just don’t feel sleepy.
94. If I became famous, I would have little trouble forgetting just about everyone I know.
93. If the world ended tomorrow, I would be ok with it.
92. My hierarchy of needs starts with absolute truth at the top, then works its way down with emotions at the bottom.
91. I love to cook.
90. I play entirely too much Warhammer Online.
89. I cant understand why some people whine so much about such inconsequential things. If it doesn’t kill you, play on!
88. Life is only as complicated as you make it. I have simplified my life and it has improved my outlook immensely.
87. I like to argue.
86. I can go from liking someone to being completely indifferent toward them in a matter of moments, especially if they are manipulative, whiney, or ignorant.
85. I can figure most people out within 10 minutes of meeting them, and make a decision about them and their inherent value within 15.
84. I push people’s buttons as often as I can.
83. I really don’t care what people think about me.
82. While they say, “No man is an island,” I think that a man can be a small subdivision outside the city.
81. Reality is always more interesting than fantasy, except when that reality is manufactured.
80. When I was 14, my dentist died of an unknown disease… later, it was discovered he was one of the first known cases of HIV/AIDS.
79. I have been on championship winning teams in baseball, soccer, and hockey.
78. I have a low threshold for stupidity. Most people really disappoint me with their lack of intelligence.
77. I have a large collection of graphic novels.
76. I have great rapport with animals and children.
75. I used to have a really bad gambling habit. I stopped gambling quite some time ago and don’t miss it.
74. I saved my younger brothers life when he was 3.
73. I almost killed him when he was five.
72. I think that makes us even.
71. I don’t speak to my older brother much these days.
70. His wife used to copy my tests in High School.
69. She called me one day crying asking me if I thought he was cheating on her. I told her if he wasn’t, he should be.
68. I have gone out of my way to humiliate her as much as humanly possible.
67. This could have something to do with why my older brother and I don’t speak much.
66. I have had fun at the expense of others.
65. But I have never been a bully.
64. People either love me or hate me.
63. I tend to go out of my way to infuriate people who show any dislike towards me or mine.
62. I am a lifelong San Diego sports fan (maybe sufferer would be more appropriate).
61. I spend 12 or more hours per day on the computer.
60. I either like you or I am indifferent toward you. There are no grey areas.
59. My biggest pet peeve is people who are indecisive.
58. Unless you have to decide which appendage to lose over a gambling debt, few problems should rate more than 2 minutes thought before making a decision.
57. I weed out people who have problems making decisions.
56. If people ask my opinion, and then don’t take it, then wonder what went wrong, I am not above saying, “I told you so!”
55. Which probably explains why people either love me or hate me.
54. Of course, it is better to be hated or loved than to be ignored.
53. The people I interact with in person most these days are my gf and clients.
52. I actually prefer it that way.
51. The people on Maui are generally the most ignorant people i have come across.
50. Which probably explains why I try to limit my interaction with them as much as possible.

More to come…

I have written previously about survival mechanisms. Survival mechanisms are the emotions/skills/mental states/instincts that we rely on when something bad/life threatening happens. By any measure, the way we function when the survival mechanisms kick in is who we REALLY are.

Most adults have waded through tragedy on the way to becoming adults. Although those tragedies are of varying degree (on one end of the scale is breaking a nail, on the other is losing a limb), how you react to them tells a great deal about who you are and whether or not you can be counted on in a crunch.

I fill my life with people who are highly functional survivors and tend to cut loose anyone who is a panic-stricken headless chicken. I often use the Desert Island Quotient (DIQ for short) to measure an individuals value to me. As horrible as it sounds, using the DIQ is a great way of getting rid of the worthless pieces of skin that can suck the life out of us at any given time.

The DIQ is based on 20 questions I ask myself about a person. Since most people can’t be trusted to tell the truth about themselves, it is better I ask and answer the questions. Upon meeting someone, I ask myself these TRUE or FALSE questions (or try to answer them as the information becomes available):

20. This person does NOT complain.

19. This person does NOT cry easily.

18. This person can follow directions.

17. This person is quick witted.

16. This person isn’t afraid to get dirty.

15. This person is not easily surprised.

14. This person is present focused.

13. This person has no basic disabilities (sight, hearing, etc).

12. This person is very aware of his/her surroundings.

11. This person is not prone to phobias.

10. This person is healthy/athletic.

09. This person is generally happy.

08. This person is calm.

07. This person views problems as opportunities.

06. This person recovers quickly from tragedy.

05. This person has good hand/eye coordination.

04. This person does not rely solely on brute force to succeed.

03. This person is comfortable in any environment.

02. This person is not timid.

01. This person adapts to changing situations easily.

I score this test as I go along, giving 5 points for True answers and 0 points for False answers. Anyone with a score lower than 80 is the type of person who I would NOT hesitate to suffocate in the middle of the night were we trapped on a deserted island (hence the name of my criteria).

I have little patience for weakness. Actually, i have very little patience in general, but nothing chaps my ass faster and as completely as someone who becomes locked down by tragedy or misfortune. I have met more than a few people who from all outward appearances are sane, stable, and self assured, but when the chips are down, they crumble like a tower of moist ritz crackers.

One other criteria I use, but is not on the test, is religious bent. I have found that those who worship their gods quietly are better in a pinch than those who tend to wear their religion on their sleeve. An example would be someone who quotes scripture at any opportunity. These people are a blight in survival situations. They scare the living bejesus out of the sheep and tend to work against the group. If you are a bible thumping, scripture quoting fanatic, chances are I would kill you outright before you had a chance to regale the group about how this was the apocalypse and you were chosen by god to lead us through the valley of death.

I am a big proponent of social darwinism (social darwinism implies that because natural selection is apparently no longer working on “civilized” people it was possible for “inferior” strains of people (who would normally be filtered out of the gene pool) to overwhelm the “superior” strains, and voluntary corrective measures would be desirable — social darwinism is the foundation of eugenics). I mention Social Darwinism simply because it is the constant softening of our evolutionary instincts through misguided morals and religious interference that makes it difficult to rely on people in survival situations.

Now some people mistake eugenics with the ideologies of Hitler. Hitler advocated RACIAL superiority, while eugenics promotes the idea of genetic superiority. Oftentimes when I get into a discussion about eugenics and the failure of natural selection, someone invariably points to Stephen Hawking to support the idea that voluntary corrective measures would have weeded out such a great mind. To this I often explain that had we never strayed from natural selection as a focus of civilization, Steven Hawking would have been born with that same great intellect and the body of Arnold Schwartzenegger.

In my estimation, the one defining moment in human evolution was the acceptance of religion as the moral compass we used to get to this point. Nothing has damned human evolution as thoroughly as the idea that we should protect the weak, an idea that is the cornerstone of most religions. If religion had never gotten involved in the course of human history, we would be on the verge of eliminating genetic diseases from our gene pool.

I have said it before, but when the world ends, we can surely blame religion.

I digress. Mandatory or Authoritarian Eugenics (what Hitler advocated) are practiced even if you don’t realize it. Most countries (the United States included) have laws against close relatives from marrying and having offspring. Most countries (the United States included) have laws preventing people with down’s syndrome from procreating. These are forms of preventing inferior genes from propagating. The moral argument against eugenics tends to crumble when certain ideas are introduced (such as incest and freedom to procreate regardless of mental accuity).

Am I wrong to think the way I do? I don’t view it as wrong, just much more honest than most people care to be.

I should add that if your world view deems that morals and compassion are what separates us from the animals, you are the exact type of “inferior” strain of human that has dumbed down humanity. Opposable thumbs and the ability to adapt are the hallmarks of humanity.

Bing Ji Ling: You Shook Me All Night Long

Being a huge fan of AC/DC, I am often disappointed by the twaddle that passes for tribute covers of their music. Most times it’s just some tired bag of estrogen (read as celine dion) screaming at the top of her lungs hoping to appear hip/young… All I can say is that Celine is shit and I wish she would just go away (much like I wish Madonna would just go away… in fact, they may be one and the same for all I know… they never appear together at the same time, which is suspect). But this version by Bing Ji Ling, a New York-based musician, is by far the most creative tribute I have ever come across.

His other tunes are also quite impressive. Remember way back when, you know, when I clued you in to Gnarls Barkley before the rest of the world discovered them? Be the first on your block to discover Bing Ji Ling and show the kids just how hip you are for an old coot.

There are few people on the planet who are as impatient with human incompetence and as unforgiving of it as I am. Give me a woman digging change out of her purse for 10 minutes just to avoid having 99 more cents weigh her handbag down and I will show you how quickly I can make her feel like a bucket of shit sans the bucket.

I know, horrible right?

I just have this thing about people being either self-centered or unaware how their failures affect the human traffic behind them.

Case in point. Today, I meander over to this new noodle place not too far from our home. I walk since its beautiful, hot and sunny. As I arrive, I find that I cannot actually get in because there is a rather large dual-wield baby carriage… (you know the kind that have side by side seats for your cute as buttons sperm culture?) blocking the entrance.

I am not yet in full asshole mode. I say to the elitist and privileged young couple who sit tiredly gazing at their two carpet monkeys as they slop food all over the floor, “Excuse me, do you mind if I back this up and move it out of the way so people can get in?”

The degenerate cocksucker says, “We’d prefer you didn’t… we don’t want anyone stealing our stuff.”

Thats pretty much the limit of my patience.

I pulled the four-wheel behemoth back out of the way and pushed it on a solo flight into the parking lot.

“Better go get it then,” I said and walked into the restaurant.

“Fag!” he says.

I stop and look at him and start laughing. I begin walking toward him, his gap-toothed, trailer-raised wife, and his two wiggling toe-headed bacteria farms and thats when it hits him.

“Sorry, just been a long day!” he says as they gather up the brood and leave.

The few people outside watching this unfold laugh and snicker and one guy even says good for you, but I know what they are thinking and it doesn’t really bother me. I figure if someone can be an inconsiderate asshole to a perfect stranger, its ok for me to be a violent asshole to a total tool.

I imagine some of you will think ill of me… perhaps even cement your impression that I am intolerant and to be honest, it doesn’t bother me. Some one, some how has to stand up to the inconsiderate and privileged who take advantage of civilization’s abhorrence of violent confrontations. I am not one to shy away from confrontation and there is at least one more tourist from bumfuck kansas who knows it now too.

I think we can all agree that Reverend Jeremiah Wright is loopy on many levels. His belief that AIDS is a result of a secret government program against its own citizens pretty much cements his place in the nut house. But not everything that has come out of this mans mouth is crazy. It would be easy to lump everything together (as many Neo-cons love to do), but if you have an IQ slightly higher than that of your average head of lettuce, you can pick out truth from fantasy.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s now famous tirade about America’s foreign policy inciting the terrorist attacks of September 11 is interesting to me. Not because it is controversial… any intelligent person can look beyond the rhetoric and understand that the terrorist attacks on the US were the result of America’s activities on foreign shores. To deny that is akin to denying that the sky is blue or that water is wet. No, what I find interesting about the whole thing is how some people reference race and color in their commentary. Read the rest of this entry »

I know many of you might be surprised to discover that this day is among my favorite holidays. Mostly because it celebrates zombies. Happy return of the living dead day to you and yours. Eat more brains.

Trent Reznor, leader of Nine Inch Nails, has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to both making music and delivering that music to his fan base. Year Zero, his 2007 album, showcased how far his disdain for the music industry has reached… In case you missed it, he released most of it (and some might argue, all of it) for free. He even went as far as asking his audience to steal his album rather than pay for it.

While most musicians make no secret of the fact that CD Album sales are a miniscule part of their income (for most bands, a bulk of their money is generated from touring), Reznor is the first to out-and-out call for a criminal act in relation to acquiring his music.

His latest album, is another “test” of the power of the internet. Nine Inch Nails is now offering Ghosts I – IV, a brand new 36 track instrumental collection in a number of ways. You can download 9 tracks for free, or all 36 (with a booklet) for as little as $5. There are also options for hardcore fans (including a super bonus $300 collection that is making me wet in ways I had not thought possible) that are sure to generate much more income for Reznor than would have been previously possible under the control of a record label.

According to nin.com, the new record is “almost two hours of new music composed and recorded over an intense ten week period last fall, Ghosts I – IV sprawls Nine Inch Nails across a variety of new terrain.”

Trent Reznor explains, “I’ve been considering and wanting to make this kind of record for years, but by its very nature it wouldn’t have made sense until this point. This collection of music is the result of working from a very visual perspective – dressing imagined locations and scenarios with sound and texture; a soundtrack for daydreams. I’m very pleased with the result and the ability to present it directly to you without interference. I hope you enjoy the first four volumes of Ghosts.”

As you can imagine, I downloaded this entire album the moment it was available. I have been listening to it non-stop for two days and can tell you that this might be his best album to date. It rocks in ways that I can’t possibly convey to you without hitting you in the forehead with a meat cleaver of orgasmic love.