inherently different

Archive for June, 2006

In response to Chai & Apple Pie’s recent post, I thought I should help you, my faithful minions, serve internet morons a piece of humble pie… Please email this to any religious zealots you know:

Dear Fellow Christian Soldier,
I just heard that FOX will be forced to discontinue "24" for depicting terrorists as Muslim in everyother program. Jimmy Cornheiser, a noted cultural anthropologist, successfully eliminated the use of images of pimps and hoes from "Starsky & Hutch" fifteen years ago. His organization has now been granted a Federal Hearing to review the subject of how terrorists are depicted on Television by the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) in Washington, D.C.

Their petition, No.1487, would ultimately pave the way to preventing the depiction of all Terrorists as Muslim, the way our Lord and Savior intended, on the airwaves of America. Cornheiser and his ilk took this petition with 287,000 signatures to back their stand.

If this attempt is successful, all episodes of "24" being broadcast either by television or cable will stop. This group is also campaigning to remove all Arabs, Palestinians and Syrians from operating convenience stores in the US, which goes against the tenets our Lord and Savior intended! If you can’t subjegate an entire group of people for their beliefs, what’s the point of being a good christian? You Can help!

We are praying for at least one million signed letters, provided that you can work in a few letter writing sessions in between your hypocritical religious zealotry (we don’t want to interfere with the lord’s good works!). This would defeat their effort and show that there are many religious zealots alive, well and completely lacking morals, tolerance and common sense in our country. Please print this letter the cut off and sign the form below.

PLEASE Do Not SIGN JOINTLY, such as Mr. & Mrs (even if you, like many christians are married to your sister or brother). Each person should sign one letter separately, and mail it in separate envelopes, perferably using separate bedrooms, separate drinking glasses, and most of all separate lives. Be sure to put Petition 1487 on the envelope when you mail the letter. This has to go through our regular mail. It is very important that the letters are mailed right away otherwise they’ll win and our rights as religious fanatics will be trampled like so many stalks of wheat under the cloven hooves of satan!

Please e-mail this letter to all your friends and relatives and to anyone else you feel like harrassing with yet another fanatical and completely erroneous attempt to protect our facists agenda. As Christians we must unite on this. Please do not take this lightly. We ignored Cornheiser once and lost pimps and hoes from Televisions across the nation.

Please stand up for your religious intolerance and let your voice be heard. Together we CAN make a difference in our country while creating an opportunity for hate for other religions and blind obedience to the lord our savior.

——————————————

Dear FCC,

We’re fed up with political correctedness and will no longer allow you to pollute our limited cultural awareness with misguided attempts to force us into buying into the vast liberal conspiracy. We urge you strongly to ignore any petitions that do not promote the christian ideals (those of intolerance, bigotry, ignorance, and the accumulation of wealth through south american sweat shops!).

Please count me among the millions of religious zealots with more time than brains!

Signed____________________________ Date_____________________

While doing research for an article on career tracks for women, I came across this article about stay-at-home moms. The article was feminist in slant, but definitely not disregarding the role of women who choose to stay-at-home to help overpopulate the Earth. Yet, many stay-at-home moms went nuts over the article because they felt belittled, marginalized, and discounted. A follow up article by the same author gave some more insight into the hullaballoo.

Now, having grown up without a mother (literally and figuratively) I can say the whole debate as to whether or not women should stay at home is rather asinine. A mother who chooses to stay at home will not raise better children than a mother who chooses to work. If you’re a piss poor parent, you raise piss poor kids no matter how much time you spend at home. This is a fact that cannot be argued.

When I think of tough jobs for women, stay-at-home mommy is not at the top of the list, but it isn’t at the bottom either. The dangers a stay-at-home mommy must deal with are social withdrawl, low self-opinion, and mild annoyance when her children misbehave. The dangers to a working mom are inherently different and definitely more troubling than having a headache because Little Johnny won’t eat his lunch. A working woman has it much harder than a woman who stays at home. A working woman who is also a mother has it doubly hard. A stay-at-home mother who believes she is working just as hard as a woman who battles on the frontlines of gender equality every day is delusional at best. It isn’t. I know this because I work from home and see the daily lives of the stay-at-home mommies in my neighborhood. Harder life? No. Different? Yes.

I find it rather amusing when I am faced with a stay-at-home mom who tries to convince me that her job is every bit as tough as any job held by a woman in the work force. Wrong. I doubt a stay-at-home mommy can compete with a female police officer, lawyer, office manager, scientist, or teacher in terms of stress and responsibility, yet some stay-at-home mommies have no problem comparing their "jobs" to that of other "working" women. I call bullshit.

Aside from the fact that having children isn’t that difficult (excluding the physical act of squeezing them out of an orafice typically the size of an orange). Any moron can get pregnant and carry the fetus to term. This requires very little effort on the part of the woman. I know, I know… I’ll catch shit for that belief, but humor me for a little while longer. The bottom line, after giving birth, rearing children isn’t any more difficult than training a puppy to behave. Yeah, i said it… raising kids is as easy/hard as training a puppy. In fact, most parents would be better off reading a book on how to house train a dog than reading any books published in the last 20 years in regards to raising children. You’ll learn the basics rather quickly rather than being mired in inconsequential details about which brand of baby powder will prevent chaffing.

I guess my point is that I’m not sure what the hubub was about to begin with. A woman, a feminist, writes an article about how women who choose to stay-at-home are doing themselves a disservice and suddenly stay-at-home moms everywhere stage a revolt. The fact that they are doing themselves a disservice is true on many levels. An educated woman who chooses to stay home to raise her brood isn’t doing her children or herself any favors. She will find it increasingly difficult to find a job the longer she stays out of the employment stream, which in turn means that unless she is married to a doctor with a thriving practice (or a husband with some other high paying career), her children will know what it is to live hand-to-mouth. Single non-professional income familes tend to live at or below poverty line. A woman who chooses to work contributes not only to the standard of living of her family, but remains relevant and more likely to be able to guide her children with an eye toward the future. Leaving the workforce for prolonged periods has ramifications. This is true for stay-at-home mommies just like any other worker… And please, please, please do not say that putting, "STAY-AT-HOME MOM" on your resume will be looked upon favorably. Changing diapers and planning meals is not the same as managing a team and delivering on goals in the workforce.

I know a few stay-at-home moms read my blog and I don’t mean to offend them. I just find it odd how someone can delude themselves into believing that their choice won’t affect their prospects for future employment (if they are looking to return to it that is).

The phone lines are open… let me have it!

I may not know everything, but the things I do know catapult me up into very thin air. Few people possess the random collection of information that courses across the miles of synapses that make up my brain. One of the many stories that I’ve been fascinated by is the historical account of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army numbering in the tens of thousands. Against these incredible odds, the Spartans who fought in this battle inspired all of Greece to unite against their Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy.

As many of you know, my geek quotient is high… in fact, so high at times that I run the risk of being crushed by its atomic weight. Imagine how high my geek quotient went up when I discovered in January of this past year that Frank Miller’s graphic novel, 300, would be made into a movie. Like Sin City, 300 will feature live actors working on blue screen sets. Having read and reread 300 a number of times, I can say that I am eager to see what the cinematic version can do for the story.

Production journals for the film can be viewed here. This is clearly a boy’s film, since it is about war and loyalty and sacrifice (not that women don’t understand those things), but based on what I’ve seen of the actors, there will be plenty of eye candy for the ladies to enjoy as well.

I can hardly wait to see Frank Miller’s work appear on the big screen again.

An open letter to my blog:

Dear Monkey Diaries,

I’m really sorry I’ve been away for so long. Well, not away as much as blatantly ignoring you. See, something has been missing from our relationship for quite some time. I wish I could say it was me, but the truth is it’s really been all you.

There was a time when I couldnt wait to return to your warm embrace, but these days it is becoming increasingly difficult to be excited by you. I guess what I am really saying is that you’re a little older than I remember you… you sag in places that were previously tight and firm, the bags under your eyes can no longer be covered by increasingly thicker layers of foundation, and more importantly, I’m not sure I love you anymore.

The question I guess is whether or not I’m willing to simply go through the motions for appearances. Should I just keep my emotions in check and continue to waltz around town with you, arm in arm, as if nothing was wrong? Should I pretend the spark is still there between us? I mean, I know you still feel exactly the same way about me as you ever have. I can still feel the electricity as I gently hit the keys of your heart, but you seem to be oblivious to the way I feel about you. You don’t seem to mind the fact that more and more time is being spent in the arms of another.

Yes, that’s right. I said it. I went there. I am hopelessly in love with another and let me tell you, she makes me feel like a school boy. She listens intently, taking in my thoughts and words with barely a raised eyebrow. She even has me convinced I can be published… that’s something you have never done for me. Perhaps it’s all a pipe dream, but I still feel that particular siren call.

All this said, I still feel that I will return to you like a dog returns to an old chewed-up shoe. You just need to give me time to figure out what it is I want from you and whether or not I truly believe you can give it to me.

Warmest regards,

The Monkey Diarist.