inherently different

Archive for September, 2005

Some random thoughts for a tuesday… brought to you by a complete lack of caffeine…

Am I the only one who thinks that madonna is quickly becoming the Cher of Generation V? Oh, in case you’re wondering, Generation V is the "Vapid" collective of materialistic 20 somethings whose icons include such notable personages as Paris Hilton (P Hiddy), Lindsay Lohan (Hohan), Mary Kate & Ashley (The Scarecrow & Ms King).

The sheehan woman who keeps trying to get a meeting with the president reminds me of a stalker trying her darndest to convince the world she’s having her rockstar crush’s baby. While I know some of you feel for her, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass that her numbfuck child willingly signed up for the military and "GASP" was deployed to a dangerous country to DO THE FUCKING JOB he signed up for! Perhaps in the interest of keeping the gene pool free of morons, this wasn’t such a bad thing afterall.

I tried out googletalk for a while there, but now that particular little piece of tech has been banished from my system. Seems more than a few of you have done the same since last I checked few of you ever logged on. You can still reach me through yahoo if you need advice, lottery numbers, cigarettes, army issue SAW chainguns, or frilly chiffon dresses.

I was talking to someone the other day that thought that Bob Dylan was a genius. I had to explain that Dylan is like the drug-addled uncle everyone tolerates, but secretly wishes would just die so you can get your cut of th inheritence. I mean, he never really had a talent unless you count his ability to warble like a loon while playing a guitar, a pair of knee cymbals, a harmonica and tuba out of his ass. I always expected a troupe of clowns to exit from a tiny car whenever he played music… it could happen.

After visiting a few blogs recently that still had Katrina Relief badges on their sites, I wondered how long you need to wait before you can remove them and not have people think you’re callous? Like 10 or fifteen minutes after media crews film the last bloated body drifting down the mississppi? Is that too soon?

It’s coming up on the rainy season here on maui. This year I’m committed to filming one of our downpours for your enjoyment. It isn’t rain as much as it is millions of gallons of water dropping on the island all at once… it is pretty spectacular.

I’m bored with my music lately. Nothing seems to get blood flowing into my tensile tissue lately. Anyone have any suggestions? The first person who suggest an Emo band will be pulled apart by a troop of mascara wearing monkeys and lip gloss gibbons.

If you read my comments in the Hana photo album, you would have discovered I had some interesting photos that complimented one of the shots. Here is the animation for you all to enjoy. I laughed my ass off… First a bit of info on what was happening when I took the series of images that make up the animation.

The Red Queen and Arie were being "daring" and walking onto some rocks in the path of some rather powerful waves that were rolling into the beach in Keanae. Arie is pregnant and the Red Queen’s reflexes aren’t what they used to be so I was a bit fascinated by their gumption.

I stood back waiting for what I knew might happen.

Up they went onto the rocks and I started snapping pictures. As they noticed what was coming, where they were in relation to safety, and how I was enjoying myself, they realized they weren’t as smart and daring as they thought… although, it makes for a rather entertaining blog post.

Here it is.

Also, a few of you have asked what kind of stuff I write professionally. Here is a recent article I wrote… It pays well and you learn a great deal about things you might not otherwise have the inclination to research… As a friend of mine once said, "E, you know just enough about everything to be dangerous…" That about sums it up, don’tcha think?

Images from our day traveling to and from Hana can be found here.

Today, we’re heading up to Hana in search of waterfalls. I like hiking through the rain forests here, but quite honestly, I hate driving… I actually hate being in the car for more than an hour at a time. The road to hana is incredibly jammed with traffic and tourists and small old ladies who drive like they fuck… barely and slowly.

It could be worse I guess. I could be wherever you are, cold, miserable and wishing I was in Maui.

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The uber-intelligent Dawn of Chai and Apple Pie recently turned me on to castpost, a new way to share audio and video clips with friends and family. And what did I choose to share with you? A remix of the Hall and Oates classic, I Can’t Go For That!

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I often laugh at the people who, while holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes, say, “love is a full-time job, it takes work to succeed.”

That is patently ridiculous. Love should be effortless and if it isn’t, chances are the two people involved are incompatible. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. Love should be the one thing in your life that brings you uncompromising joy. Not joy tempered with periods of misery. If you fight with your sig other more than say, once per year, you’re kidding yourself into believing you’re compatible.

I can’t think of anyone who thinks that work is a good thing, so why do these people use work as an analogy for a relationship? Work is the complete opposite of FUN. Who wants to work at having fun? Isn’t that what love should be? Fun?

When I talk to friends and family who express concern over the fact that I am not married, I often point out to them that no marriage ever lasts forever. All marriages end eventually, the only question is whether it will end because you fuck up or because one, or both, of you dies. I’m not sure what your perspective is, but neither of those two options is all that appealing to me.

What is marriage anyway? Is it a legally binding contract between two parties to love, honor, and obey til death do you part? Is that really the romantic notion of love that you want to adhere to? To me, love is simply two people working toward a common goal. If that goal ceases to be important to both parties, then disolving the union is paramount to progress. When you’re married, that disolution can become quite expensive and downright painful. If you’re unmarried, you can shake hands, agree to disagree, and run into the waiting arms of the next victim in line.

Am I the only one who can see this?

A few pics of my brother and his son, Damian.

The image above was taken at a small snorkeling spot called Ahihi Cove. Damian was all well and good up until both his mother and father tried to go out into the water without him. Then all hell broke loose.

Damian in a rare moment not attached to his mommy’s hip.

This is my brother. Note he is NOT flexing. That’s just how he is: all swollen and bulbous. I’ve tried to get his arms to touch his torso on many occasions, but failed.

I’ve been blogging for quite some time. I’m not sure if you knew that. Well, actually since before there were any blog tools to speak of… just me coding some html with a few sentences about what I had done through out the course of the day. Then blogger came along.

I still have the old site, but in an effort to gather all my writing under one roof, I consolidated all the posts into an archive which you can find here. Go back, read a little, and find the hundreds of contradictory statements I’ve made throughout the five years I’ve been banging keys like a monkey.

In the previous post, Dawn was curious about my reference to infidelity. I used infidelity in my analogy to child rearing, but I equate everything to an understanding of principle over mechanics. For instance, you don’t need to own a tiger to know that a tiger could kill you. My analogy was directed from that viewpoint. I’m often faced by people who think they know better than I do just because they have first hand experience. While they may have a unique perspective, that is a conceited way of thinking. A doctor knows about cancer without ever needing to actually contract cancer to understand it.

I study people. I can, 9 times out of 10, figure someone out in just a few minutes of interacting with them. I know what they want, why they want it, and more importantly, whether or not they’d compromise their morals or belief systems to get it. This analytical skill grew from my experiences as a child. I watched my mother cheat on my father… later, I was able to see the signs of infidelity in the women I dated.

To be honest, I’m curious about the motivations that drive people to cheat. Of course I understand the physiology, but not the psychology. Two of my friends have recently discovered their significant others have been cheating on them and I find myself wondering about it all.

First, I know how destructive infidelity can be and have no wish to participate in any endeavor that causes someone that kind of anguish. I have been in three relationships that ended because of infidelity. In each case, they told me that they needed more from me than I was willing to give. I have dated one woman who was cheating on her boyfriend… of course, as soon as I found out, I ended the relationship. So I have seen infidelity from two of the three perspectives and think I have a pretty good handle on that topic without actually ever cheating myself.

Second, I’ve read that cheaters form connections with various people through emotional, physical, or mental channels, and can’t control how these connections manifest themselves. I guess I can understand that sentiment up until the pants come off and uglies start bumping.

Back to my friends. The first was married for going on 10 years. The second isn’t married, but has two children with the cheater. The friends are, of course, women and the cheaters, men. In both cases, the guys needed to weave an extraordinary web of lies to cover the infidelity. Since both of the cheaters in this example have been caught, it is clear that lies like this will eventually catch up to you and the truth will come out.

I guess that is part of the allure of cheating, though… I mean, the idea that you are doing something wrong makes it all the more exciting. As for me, it all just seems like too much work for a piece of ass. I’m lazy and anything that requires extra effort on my part isn’t all that attractive to me. I still believe that cheating is nothing more than seeking something outside the relationship that you can’t get inside of a relationship. Whether that is some form of deviant sex or more emotion or more compliments or more affection, a cheater often justifies their action by saying it is the other person’s fault for not giving them what they need/want. Or maybe they don’t justify it, but just do it because they can.

So… have you ever cheated? I mean, even thinking about someone else in a romantic or physical sense is cheating to a certain degree. The moment you start to look outside of your mutually exlusive relationship for fulfillment, are you cheating? Or is cheating just sex outside of the relationship? I’m interested in what you all think.

While there are certain traits we share, there are huge differences between my brother and I that are pretty evident to just about anyone who comes in contact with both of us.

While we are both athletes (In high school and college, I played volleyball, baseball, tennis, hockey, and soccer; my brother played football, volleyball, and baseball in high school), I took school much more seriously. Well, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA while my brother scraped together enough credits to graduate. Of course, the fact that I didn’t have to try very hard in any subject and he had to focus all his mental energy just to pass consumer math divides us on a purely cerebral level.

Another area where we differ is in how each of us views the act of parenting. Obviously he can claim first hand knowledge because he has two children and I have none. That doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about though. I mean, I don’t have first hand experience with infidelity, but I can definitely discuss the inherent selfishness of the act with little trouble.

My brother’s little demon spawn throws tantrums. I’m not talking about a little crying and maybe some yelling here either. I’m talking about the full blown, throw-throw-yourself-down-on-the-ground and kick, punch and scream like somebody removed your liver without the benefit of anesthesia howling. The kid can wail like a banshee.

If my child acted like that in public, I’d immediately take him home, shove him into a cardboard box in a dark closet and ignore him until he stopped. My brother? Caves in to whatever it is the child wants to stop him from crying. Neither of us believes in corporal punishment, but he would rather err on the side of caution and pretend that nothing happened than acknowledge the idea tha a good swift swat on the ass is in order when his child is ill behaved.

Over the last four days, I’ve come about as close to swatting this kid as you can without showing outward signs of murderous intent.

Only a few more days… only a few more days… only a few more days…