inherently different

Archive for July, 2005

I’ve been at various times been accused of being elitist, racist, republican, classist, classless, rude, vulgar and once, upon calling someone a moron, mentalist…

I don’t think I fit into any one category to be honest. I have moments of clarity that sometimes people find off-putting. What it all boils down to is that I don’t mind being the voice of dissent or reason while those around me insist on failing to grasp the obvious.

I’ve been asked my opinion at various times and quite often the person asking the question has been sorely disappointed by my answer. I am not a doom and gloom type of guy and won’t readily agree that the world is ending tomorrow if I decide against recycling. I don’t believe that Bush’s lies in order to invade Iraq were any worse than the lies any other American leader has told in order to keep America a world power. I also don’t believe that war is a bad thing nor do I believe that it should be neat and tidy with few civilian casualties. Nor do I believe in a god that would condemn non-believers (that includes both muslims and christians), which by extension means I can’t subscribe to the two largest modern religions.

I guess I just don’t believe in anyone or anything so intensely that I’m willing to forget that I have a responsibility to myself that precludes doing things just because others demand that I tow the line. I’m not a follower, but I’ve spent a good portion of my adulthood avoiding leadership roles.

I shudder to think what would happen if I was suddenly thrust into a leadership position…

I’m not sure about the rest of you cats, but I’ve often wondered about the myriad of beauty products sold to women. There’s lotions, peels, scrubs, masks, ointments, salves, salts, dyes, and a few others I have no way of categorizing without a degree in chemical engineering.

The Red Queen is an esthetician by trade and our bathrooms (yes, we have two) are filled to capacity with just about every known beauty aid ever invented. While her constant pursuit of beauty is admirable, the fact that I barely have room in the bathroom for my razors is a testament to how seriously she takes this particular addiction.

This is an area where men and women differ, of course. A guy might NEED a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a razor, deodorant, some soap, shampoo (if he has hair), some conditioner (if he believes the hype about the two part process of hair maintenance), and a towel. For the most part, guys are low-maintenance, unless he’s a metro-sexual, then he might NEED some lotion, one or two different colognes, and a luffa. I’m of the former group. Which is to say I’m about as low maintenance as you can get without being in a coma. Sure, I’ve got some level of vanity… I mean, I’ve shorn off all my hair rather than watch it all fall out on its own. I’ll admit that I took my queue from Bruce Willis, but the truth is my options were limited: it was either the comb over or invest heavily in Minoxidil. The bottom line, and the one I’m trying to get at here, is that men use a fraction of the personal care products that women do.

Women will buy just about every crackpot invention ever made so long as it claims to either beautify or restore her skin, hair, nails, or teeth to their pre-pubescent splendor. I know there are a few of my regular readers, women anyway… and maybe limey, who pay an extraordinary amount of attention to their appearance. I would imagine that it probably started shortly after they found their first gray hair or crowsfoot near the eyes. I know that the women’s magazines (which for the most part are produced, written, and edited by women, for women) tend to push the younger is better line and mostly because they are in part funded by the advertising dollars paid by the manufacturers of the very products that promise women they’ll feel and look younger and better if only they would buy their products. It’s horseshit really.

I mean, I think every guy looks at pictures of hot, young women in magazines, but it isn’t because they’re better looking than you… it’s because we’ve been trained from an early age to be attracted by women in magazines! Mostly from our experimentation of masturbating to pictures of hot, young women in magazines.

Anyway, I bring this up because today some woman at some spa called to inform me that my girlfriend’s order of some sort of unguent arrived special order. My girlfriend’s bathroom already looks like a mortician’s lab with all the various potions, lotions, and sprays… the only thing that’s missing is an embalming table. Luckily, the Red Queen doesn’t use many cosmetic products, but I wonder what would happen if she stopped using the products she does use… Which is a thought process that probably started the horror movie genre.

Depending on who you ask, the civilian death toll in the first two years of the Iraq war might be 100,000, 194,000, or 1,000. The latest issue of U.S. News & World Report has an editorial (Fun With Numbers, August 1, 2005) that tries to ascertain the validity of statistics that are gathered by groups with an agenda.

The article goes on to say that the numbers vary depending on whether or not the source is anti-war. A team of Johns Hopkins University scholars conducted a survey and published their findings in the Britsh Medical Journal Lancet. This particular “non-partisan” survey found that 100,000 Iraqi civilans had been killed, but before you swallow that figure like oprah swallows cake, know that the report was issued just before the election and it was conducted by an anti-war group. Greenpeace had the numbers closer to 15,000 dead, while the American Friends Service Committee/Red Crescent claimed the number was actually closer to 300,000 civilian deaths. Later a Foreign Policy Magazine report fixed the number at closer to 1,000. Whose telling the truth? Unless you’re out counting bodies in Iraq, any guess will do apparently.

Any statistical figures released by any non-profit organization that counts on public donations or government grants for the balance of their operating income should immediately be discarded without much investigation.

I guess from my perspective I’d rather know about civilian lives “saved” from various conflicts… that would be a much more telling number… for instance, if the population of a neighborhood in Tikrit on Friday was 100,000, then the US bombed some terrorist cocksuckers in Tikrit back to the stoneage on Saturday, and the population of Tikrit didn’t decline by more than 1% by sunday, that would be ok in my book.

I’m sure a few of the misguided liberals who frequent my blog might be appalled by my thinking, but so the fuck what. I for one am all for erradicating anyone who thinks that everyone should be worshipping allah or else.

It had to happen eventually, right? I mean, kids grow up, right? In case you’re absolutely clueless, I’m talking about Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince and the fact that the lead characters, Harry, Ron & Hermione, spend a good portion of the book hooking up with whomever will have them and eventually, each other.

I picked up the 652 page book on Saturday morning and was finished reading it by Sunday evening. I can read pretty fast, but the fact that I read that much in just under 12 hours shows how quickly this story moves along. I’m pretty sure there are others who finished it much quicker than I… in fact, 6togo read it in like 20 minutes or something.

Now, I’m guessing if you’re reading my review of the 6th book in the HP series, you’ve already read the book and any information about the plot, characters, and ending won’t be news to you… if you haven’t read the book and don’t want to find out what happens, or couldn’t care less about Harry Potter, stop reading right now. If you’re interested in my thoughts, read on…

Like the first five books in the series, Harry Potter & The Halfblood Prince (HP&HP) focuses primarily on a year in the life of Harry and his attempts to avoid being killed by Voldemort or his cohorts. Unlike the previous books though, this book is much darker. Everything happens pretty much according to what you might expect if you’ve read the five previous books: Harry has run-ins with Snape (who is now, finally, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher), has conflicts with his friends who have a hard time believing what he’s saying, and must hear constant comparisons to his parents. HP&HP would be pretty boring if it failed to go in a different direction and thankfully, it does.

In fact, HP&HP went someplace I didn’t think it would ever go… killing off a major character who has played a significant role in the previous five books (Albus Dumbledore). That’s pretty edgy stuff, but even more so when it’s in a book primarily aimed at children. Shit like that could fuck a kid up for life. The focus of HP&HP becomes more personal as Harry must battle evil on two fronts… his school nemesis Draco Malfoy as well as the possibility that Voldemort and his Death Eaters might try to kill him at any time. To throw things into complete chaos, Harry must also deal with the unwanted attention of a name-dropping potions teacher who would like nothing better than to add Harry’s name to his stable of famous or infamous wizards and witches. All in all, HP&HP delivers what fans expect as well as setting the stage for what fans will want.

By that I mean that Harry, Ron & Hermione are now teenagers and any story that didn’t explore their budding sexuality would be pure speculative fantasy. In HP&HP, Harry, Ron, & Hermione all succumb to the call of the wild, “snogging” with abandon. Harry finally has a girlfriend (Ron’s sister Ginny) and Ron and Hermione finally get together. Anyone could see that coming from a mile (or five books) away. Even with the hormones racing, the book still manages to stay on track and keep things moving.

As far as the big surprise promised by Rowling while she was making the publicity rounds for HP&HP, I was having an email conversation with 6togo about this and we both came to the conclusion that the death of Dumbledore might be a plot gimmick. Something to lead you down a different path than the one you’re clearly walking down. Perhaps Dumbledore wasn’t really killed by Snape, just pretending to be dead only to reappear in book 7. Like how Gandalf was “killed” in Lord of the Rings and reappeared later, bigger, badder and whiter… At least that’s what 6togo surmised and I get the same feeling, except for one thing… the price of immortality according to HP&HP is splitting your soul and the only way to split your soul was murdering someone… maybe there is yet another way, but if there is, I’m not sure what it might be.

Did you read it? If so, let me know your thoughts.

all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy. all work and no play make jack a dull boy…

Being raised catholic and reading the old testament cover to cover, then having been forcibly “converted” to christianity and reading the King James bible cover to cover, then exploring Buddhism and other Eastern philosophies in my late 20s, I like to believe that I am relatively well-read when it comes to religion. I’ve yet to finish reading the Koran (translated), but have read up on the history of the Muslim faith. All that said, I’ve been interested in the Latter Day Saints for a few years, but haven’t found many books that can present the faith without being overshadowed by an agenda. Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer has been on my reading list for a few years now, specifically because someone who grew up in the Mormon church recommended it to me.

Under the Banner of Heaven is really about a murder that takes place in 1984, but it is also about the philosophy, history and tenets that govern the Mormon faith. Krakauer, renowned for his exploration of human experiences, both large (Into Thin Air) and small (Into The Wild), presents a vivid account of the inner workings of the Church of Latter Day Saints and Fundamentalist movement that is trying to stay true to the original church incorporated by Joseph Smith back in 1830. While the modern LDS Church has repealed certain revelations (known as The Doctrine and Covenants) Joseph Smith himself added to the original “book of mormon,” there are still a number of facets to this most modern of religions that go against not only natural law, but the law of man.

The book is also an exploration of a type of extremism that has become all to common in the modern world. Whether we’re talking about Al-Qa’ida, the Irish Republican Army, Aum Shinrikyo, or the KKK, extremism is no more than out-of-control passion without the understanding that tempers it. Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints fall into this category and Krakauer does a good job of keeping the editorial from being to heavy handed.

If you’re as interested in the fundamentalist movement as I am, Under the Banner of Heaven is definitely worth a read, even if it is just out of morbid curiousity.

Let’s say that Limey finally gets his wish and opens up a pub somewhere in the hinterlands of Britain. Let’s also say that he’s greedy and has little understanding of the laws of supply and demand. As such, he sets his prices 1 1/2 times higher than his competitors. Let’s also say that he has little understanding of how to win friends and influence people and his staff is snotty, elitist and rather unfriendly. He does decent business for a while, mostly from friends and family that like to show their support.

Suddenly, a TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday: A chain of food & spirits establishments here in the US) decides to open up shop right across the street. They offer quality food, decent prices, and a friendly atmosphere. The TGIF is the cat’s pajamas and lots of people stream through their doors. This obviously takes a toll on Limey’s new establishment, as well as the other “independently owned” pubs in the area. Limey, being the greedy bastard that he is, gets mad.

He rails at the “corporation” that has suddenly begin to “steal” his business and cries against the injustice of it all. He puts up a website that attacks the “corporate greed” that is essentially driving him out of business. He asks his few patrons to help him “fight” against the corporations, claiming that they’re greedy automatons who care little for his plight.

All that is well and good, but is greed in the form of an independent shopkeeper any worse than the greed of corporations? I think about this as I read an article in our local rag about Walmart. It seems many people, here on Maui and on the mainland, seem to HATE walmart because it destroys small “mom and pop” shops that used to sell the same items, but a a much higher price.

Maybe I’m dense, but why would anyone want to pay more for something? Just to alleviate some of the guilt that might surface because a poor business person is losing his shirt making money? I mean, attacking walmart for being better at business, offering lower prices, a bigger selection, and a friendlier atmosphere is just plain stupid. Granted, losing the local flavor of a given berg is sad, but if those small mom and pop shops were really interested in serving the greater good of the community, they wouldn’t gouge their customers.

I for one believe strongly in evolution… survival of the fittest. If you want my dollar, you’ll not only have to earn it, but show me you really want my loyalty. I don’t shop a walmart, but would if I needed the crap they hawk. Forced to choose between walmart and a mom & pop that’ll charge me twice as much for toilet paper though, and you can bet I’ll be wiping my ass with Walmart brand booty wipes.

When people complain about successful corporations like Starbucks or Walmart, I wonder what these idealists are really complaining about… are they really complaining about having to pay more for their favorite products? Or are they just pissed that they don’t have stock in the corporation?

I hate whiners almost as much as I hate morons…

Limey, who’s leaving us in the care of some random poster while he traipses across the frozen tundra of some slavic nation, is a passive aggressive. I know because I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by passive aggressives. For instance, you can recognize passive aggressives not by what they say, but by what they leave out. I get the hint Limey! I’m not posting enough. Message received.

The problem is that you’re not getting a well formed post. Instead, you get this reactionary message that is meant to tide over regular readers until I actually feel like writing something remotely interesting.

Let’s see… I could write about how the bombings in London made me immediately think of my good friend and ex-intern Molly who is studying digital art in London. Or I could write about my ten day foray into being social with real live people. Or I could ask the real identity of the “guest” blogger posting over at Limey’s site. I have already formed a hypothesis, but would prefer all of your input before offering up my guesses.

The fourth of july on maui is quite the spectacle… not in the same was as it might be on the main land where they do it bigger and arguably, better. This holiday is about families, sharing, and fun. The fireworks displays are pretty small, but really earnest. By that I mean they make up for quantity with a zeal that isn’t found in many american cities anymore.

This fourth of july (unlike the four previous fourth of july’s) we caught the display in Wailea on the South East side of the island. It is much more family-oriented than the display up in Lahaina.  What you have to remember here is that no matter where you go, it will be crowded. Unlike the mainland where you might have five or six different displays you can attend, maui, the entire island, only has three fireworks shows. Lahaina, Wailea, and Wailuku. None of them last longer than say 10 minutes and all of them are well-attended.

The main difference between fireworks here and on the mainland? Palm trees and ocean views. I hope you all had a happy 4th!

*Soundgarden, from the album Superunknown.

I know you can’t all be here to help celebrate the 4th of July with me and my friends. While that sucks, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience a little of what we’re doing here right now. For your pleasure, sit back and pretend you’re on the beach with us. Baldwin Beach is just west of Paia on Maui’s North Shore.

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