I hate proselytizing. Growing up Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Christians, and other religious fanatics would come, door to door, in our neighborhood preaching the gospel according to their God. I would practice a variety of debate techniques on these poor hapless misguided idiots. In many cases these people were ill-equipped to debate the relative merits of their belief systems. Mostly because as a believer, you only need to learn the talking points and not necessarily understand their meaning or their origin.

As I have explained, I read a lot. At various times I have been bored enough to read religious tracts from the entire King James Bible to the Koran. I know what is in there and I know what the intent of the scriptures are. Some of the door-to-door types really have no understanding of what they are reading so it is relatively simple to really fuck them up with just a bit of literal interpretation. The door-to-door missionaries eventually avoided our house.

These days though, the fanatics are embracing the electronic age and posting their drivel on Facebook. It’s very difficult for me to avoid engaging these people. I know that many people need religion to avoid confronting the reality of death, pain, suffering, or calamity, but I don’t need them to write shit on my wall about their god. I honestly don’t care and not because I am atheist (I’m not… truth be told, I’m actually agnostic). Their belief system brings them comfort when something happens, great.. good for them. But I don’t want you to saddle me with your childish belief in fairies, leprechauns, angels or other supernatural beings that bestow good favor on those who believe.

More and more of my friends are falling into the whole “daily affirmation” thing where they post messages about god and good works in relation to their day to day. Many of these cocksuckers are no longer my friends if they keep it up more often than holidays or special occasions. When they do it on some random wednesday morning, I defriend them without a backward glance. I don’t want to have people attempt to convert me and I especially don’t want to see that folk lore inspired rhetoric appearing in my friend feeds.

Post about your drinking binge, your vegetable garden, or the heiffer you pulled at the bar last night so i can laugh with you or at you… the rest you can keep to yourself.

I have a friend. Well, not actually a friend as much as an ex-manager from when I worked at a computer company. Recently we connected via Facebook (best idea ever used for the worst possible reasons) and I found out she’s a stripper. Ok, not really a stripper, but she teaches a class called “pole fitness.”

I kid you not. There are classes that teach women to pole dance as a form of fitness or exercise program. I would imagine, that 99% of the women who gravitate toward that nonsense would probably turn their noses down at a real stripper. Hypocrisy isn’t sexy… come to think of it, watching a woman swinging around on a pole isn’t sexy either.. never understood where that came from.

Insert joke about “the only pole i want to see a woman on” here… save me the effort. Told you I was lazy.