“How deep is your love?” – The Bee Gees
I often laugh at the people who say, usually while holding hands and looking into each others’ eyes, that love is a full-time job. That it takes work to succeed. And often, I gaze upon them and think, “That is patently ridiculous.”
There is the common belief that all things worthwhile require effort. That in order to make an omelette, you’ve got to break a few eggs so to speak. Unfortunately though, anyone who has experienced true, long lasting love can tell you that the relationships built upon that true love don’t require work at all. This is of course because the two principles in the relationship are matched perfectly.
Yes, you read it here first. I say that love should be effortless and if it isn’t, chances are the two people involved are incompatible. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
Man is imperfect. Philosophers have written tomes exploring the nature of man and his inability to get it right. I’d like to go on record as saying that I am not a great philosopher. Well there was that time, a twelve-pack of beer coursing through my system that I said, “I don’t need a girl friend to be happy!” Granted, this wasn’t the most complex statement I’ve ever made, but I cannot, even to this day, think of something I’ve come up with that can rival that thought for its genius. It works equally well in the feminine as it does in the masculine, and that is the beauty of it. Simple. Versatile. True.
Great philosophical moments happen like that and for me, that was my moment and one that continues to drive me forward. The understanding isn’t the end of the journey, simply the beginning of a longer path to enlightenment. Unfortunately, for all its genius…
It seems that convincing someone that love is easy can be incredibly difficult to do. I’ve also discovered that on my journey. That no matter how simple you make it, humans will refuse to buy into it. They refuse because to admit it is that simple lessens their self worth. By making it complex or seemingly unknowable, you can be forgiven if you fail. Failure is, after all, the mother of invention… what they don’t tell you though is that the father is blind ignorance. No wonder invention is also another way of describing a lie.
I had a lot of thoughts like that when I was much younger, but life was much simpler back then. Like Forrest Gump, when I was hungry, I ate. When I was sleepy, I slept. And when I was lonely, I found someone to fill the void, even if for just a few hours.
Don’t mistake my penchant for serial monogamy for a character flaw, though many might see it that way. No, my choices were born of need.
To be continued…