I have never really understood the whole blame it on the parents deal. I mean, people who blame their parents for whatever problems they have as adults. I’d be interested in a serious conversation with someone who habitually blames their inadequacies on their parents. Anyone whom I’ve ever asked, or begun such a conversation with, inevitably changes the subject or gets really angry.
Your experiences form you who you are… for better or worse, but blaming your parents because you’re a loser is pretty pathetic. It is essentially admitting that you have no ability to carve your own path other than the one your parents laid out for you. My parents weren’t always there, nor were they all that “parental” but it didn’t stop me. If I fail, I fail because i made poor choices and didn’t learn anything from my previous experiences, not because my parents didn’t love me enough or buy me enough shit when I was younger.
Are you out there Mr. or Ms. Blame Game? Would you be willing to let me pick your brain?
Oh, I love this topic. I have a number of friends who spend their whole lives boo-hooing about their lack of toys, inability to let anyone near them and everything else imaginable on mom and dad.
It’s awfully convenient but very short sighted. Studies have been done on children who were neglected or abused. It does not automatically make you a loser. Those that didn’t thrive in life that came from that type of environment did exactly what you talk about – blamed everyone else for their downfall. How sad for them. Everyone goes through bad stuff. It’s the people that make a good life out of the ashes (they are full of nutrients, afdter all) that I think are asesome.
Well when I was in my earlier 20’s I used to blame my parents a lot. I think I t has to do with the helplessness a child feels and parents are supposed to equip them with the tools for “grown-upness” if that makes any sense. It is my belief that I felt cheated out of a learning experience and ill equipped for my adult life where I felt my parents should’ve warned me and protected me more.
After a few years i realized that while my parents might have forgotten or not been ready themselves to hand me tools for my adulthood I can not rely on them or their approval for the rest of my life. It’s nice to have parents pat you on the back, but I am happier now taking charge and responsibility for my own actions and achievement. Whether those things are helpful or harmful to me.
The mind is a powerful thing and I think some people are lazy and just want a “waa-waa” pay attention to me with blaming their parents. I just think those people are not yet grown up. Some of us get lucky, others get stuck on the blame game.
Oh yeah Rob, I totally agree that when we are young, we tend to look at things much differently. The bottom line for me though is that eventually you have to take responsibility for your own actions, mistakes, and success if you’re gonna grow up. Some people though, well into their 40s and 50s continue to place blame on their parents for their pattern of mistakes. Along the same line, I am of the mindset that between the ages of 17 and 25, you should purposefully go out and make as many mistakes as you can (provided those mistakes don’t kill you or put you in prison). Mistakes are valuable learning experiences and someone who lives without making mistakes is doomed to make them eventually… better to get them out of the way while you’re still resilient enough to survive them relatively unscathed.