A few days ago, the Red Queen came home from her trip visiting her family in New Jersey and said something to me that still really chaps my ass. She had a conversation with her brother and his wife and somehow she mentioned that I didn’t recycle and that by extension, she didn’t either. According to the Red Queen, this nugget of intelligence brought forth dumbfounded looks from her audience as well as this tidbit: “What? That is so socially irresponsible!”
I have written a few times about why I refuse to recycle. The main reason has to do with the value propostion… essentially it boils down to this: When you recycle, you are wasting energy at both ends of the lifecycle. I won’t even get into the economics of recycling and how the $40 million it costs a small city to run an efficient recycling program could be better used to actually help people live better, healthier lives… no, I am against recycling simply because it is not a very socially responsible thing to do… and here my girlfriend’s misguided, tree-humping family tells her that we are socially irresponsible.
I’ve been down this path before… explaining to people who really don’t understand the world around them what is and isn’t true about life on earth. I admit, that it is a tiresome proposition… who could possibly enjoy the painfully slow process of educating these mental invalids… but I enjoy the process much like a dog who eat its own feces… I know it’s wrong, but I just can’t help myself.
The truth about recycling is really simple… it doesn’t work and it is all based on a lie… that lie being that we are running out of landfill. Think we are in danger of running out of viable landfill?
A noted professor at a relatively well-received institute of higher learning, A. Clark Wiseman of Spokane’s Gonzaga University, calculated that, at the current rate of solid waste generation, the United State’s entire solid waste for the next 1,000 years could be buried in a single landfill 100 yards high and 35 miles square. And before you start to bore me with the whole “landfills are dangerous and pollute our groundwater” panic statement, let me say simply that modern landfills are designed and engineered to prevent the types of doomsday scenarios most often cited by the bleeding edge environmentalists. And once a landfill has been filled to capacity, they are routinely converted into valuable property that is then utilized for housing, recreation, and business (talk about value proposition).
But let’s talk about social responsibility since it was brought up by my lovely GF’s brother (cletus) and his wife (the Vasser educated Prucilla). They are the epitome of the “GREEN FAMILY.” They recycle, drive an eco-friendly suburu station wagon, furnish their home with space-saving Ikea furnishings, and have one child… WAIT! What’s that you say? They have a child?
Yes, they have a child.
If you want to get down to brass tacks… the most socially irresponsible thing you can do as an adult is to have a child. Having a child (or two or three) is about the most selfish thing you can do. You generate more waste, require more food, take up more space, and generally have a more detrimental impact on the environment than a single person. You compound the effect you have on the consumer AND waste stream…Clearly any rational and intelligent human being can see this simple truth… right? A child must rely on the parents to care, feed, house, and generally maintain them and in that process, their is a great deal of inherent waste.
The bottom line is: Having a kid is essentially, bad for the environment. If you want to proselytize about recycling and saving the environment, have the common sense to have your fucking tubes tied or your uterus carved out before you start to badmouth me about my decision to say no to recycling. As a friend of the Earth, the most socially responsible thing you can do is not breed… if you feel you must hear the pitter patter of little feet, why not adopt a child (from the inner city preferably, not from Zimbabwe like madonna who seemingly chose her orphan based on how much more photogenic it was than the other urchins in that particular mud hut). Adoption is the truest, most honest form of recycling a human can possibly undertake. Think about it… why make a new child, when there are so many discarded, at risk kids available to you right now?
And before anyone decides that I am anti-kid, nothing could be further from the truth… i love kids and kids love me (mostly because I don’t lie to them like most adults do). What I am ANTI about is the lies spewing forth from judgemental cocksuckers who seem hellbent on promoting their misguided ideals to the detriment of my quality of life. Want to save the world? Stop procreating and start thinking rationally and responsibly.