Inherently Different

hooker with a penis

In case you guys don’t know this, for the last 8 months or so, I’ve spent more time building web sites than I have writing for my old publisher. Over the last two months, I’ve been working on building a web site for what I believe is THE client from hell… THC for short.

THC hired me to build a web site for her husband’s company… which just happens to be a mobile lavatory provider… In otherwords, they rent portable shitters.

Now, I’m not sure if any of you have ever done contract work before, but there are two kinds of clients: GBs and NDs.

GB stands for Green Bleeder. These guys are notorious for bleeding money.  A GB company doesn’t care how much it costs so long as it gets done. These are by far my favorite clients. They are few and far between these days. The late 90s was by far the best time to work for GB companies, which is what brought about the demise of the Dot Coms.

ND stands for Nickel & Dimer. They count every fucking cent that goes out of their company as if it were the Hope Diamond on loan. The type of client that could stretch a penny into five miles of copper wire. These are the most popular types of companies contractors work for these days. Since I started working for myself a few years ago, they are my bread and butter… which is about all I can afford to buy for dinner if I had to rely solely on them to make ends meet. The THC (remember her from above?) is about the worst ND I have ever come across.

Aside from not knowing what they want, they barely know what they don’t. I’ve sent them 12 different comps and they’ve noped me at every step. They’ve claimed at various times that my plans are: Too complex, too simple, not readable, too wordy, chaotic, spartan, too white, too dark… I’ve about had it with them. I even offered to just give back their deposit and part ways amicably, but the crazy bitch in charge of the project (the owner’s wife) won’t let me go. Gah!

6 thoughts on “hooker with a penis”

  1. I am trying to get a website built. Very much nickel and dime. Perhaps I could be TCFTDOH? (from the depths of).

    Im sure a mate of mine once picked up a hooker with a penis. Certainly had an adam’s apple. He denies it to this day but if you hang around Bangkok late at night u are almost guaranteeed something out of the ordinary. Ahh, happy days…well, thats a a story for another day.

  2. That must have been a cool show. Considering neither band is still around (although maynard is still making music with his side band “A Perfect Circle”). I think I’ve seen just about every 80s or 90s alternative band, but never saw house of pain amazingly enough.

  3. Do what I do, I do 3 “free” concepts at that point after 3 they either have to give me some better artisitic direction or I explain that Any further work will be subject to charge – this is in the contract signed ahead of time.. and I demand half up front after completing a concept and starting work.

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