I like zombies. Anyone who pays attention to the way I operate will probably say, “It figures.” See, I believe zombies are the perfect human machines*. No longer tied to the rules that hold humanity back, zombies are free to explore the undiscovered territory of their potential. Humans are, by and large, held back by two traits that are not present in a zombie… emotion and thought. Without those two abilities, humans could exist happily, and like zombies, forever.
I’m not an emotional guy. I don’t cry at the end of Old Yeller, and in fact I find sentimentality rather mundane. As far as I’m concerned, emotions are really a poor use of energy and I would rather scoop my eyes out with a rusty spoon than to expend energy crying, being sad, or worrying about things I can’t control. I am, in other words, an emotional zombie and proud of that fact.
Speaking of Zombies, there are two great things on the horizon for zombie lovers like myself. The first is George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead and the Spiereg Brother’s Undead. If you want to prepare for the onslaught of zombie entertainment in the coming months, you’d do well to read The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. I’ve read it and found it to be chockful of hundreds of useful tips one might need in the case that the world is overrun by the walking dead.
*Note: I am well aware that zombies do not exist. Please do not write to tell me what I already know.