Throughout my life, I’ve had much stronger relationships with women than I have had with men. I mean, my friends have almost all been women with the exception of one or two instances. At no time has that fact really been an issue. Until now.
Since I’ve moved to Maui I have yet to forge any friendships beyond the casual with males. All my friends, the few that live here on Maui with me, are female. That might be the reason for my most recent posts bemoaning a lack of testosterone (and politcally incorrectedness).
Today the Red Queen’s cousin (and my former boss) is coming to town. While this just means one more woman will be in orbit around me, I look forward to her visit since she’s the type of woman who can go from pointing out a dainty flowered print on a dress one moment then say something that would make a sailor blush the next. You have to appreciate a renaissance woman who can wear many hats.
Even still, I’m going bugshit without some kind of consistent male interaction. The other day I found myself admiring a woman’s hairstyle (as opposed to her other obvious endowments). I think the words “that’s really cute” even came out of my mouth, but I wouldn’t admit it outside of this blog. While I’m not worried that I’ll be wearing a sarong and going by the name of alice before long, I do miss watching football or talking baseball with my buddies (hell, I’d settle for discussing NASCAR or the pro bowling circuit although neither is really a sport). Or running down to the pub for a few pints and having discussions that are best had in pubs with guys with colorful nicknames like Hack, Trip, Bone & Gator.
I’m sure many of you are saying, “Well E! Just go out and meet a few guys!”
I’m not very social to begin with, but coupled with the fact that I work from home means that a social gathering after work includes mostly inanimate objects (and the toaster and microwave are always fighting about whether Manchester United is better with or without David Beckham). The problem becomes rather insurrmountable since none of the girls I know here have boyfriends except my girlfriend who, rumor has it, is dating a real prick. I’m beginning to daydream about getting a job working on a golf course (or garbage truck, septic tanker, gay porn set, etc) just so that I can have conversations that don’t include references to cute tops and bottoms (all though, come to think of it, a gay porn set wouldn’t solve my problem afterall).