Ever sit back and wonder what you would do differently if you had the chance? I’m not much on regret as I’ve always done pretty much whatever I’ve thought best even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. Yet, sometimes I do wonder what or where I would be if I had turned left instead of right at certain points along the axis of my life.
For instance, where would I be right now if I had decided to go to flight school instead of college? Would I be a pilot? Would I have been shot down over Iraq in the first gulf war?
Lets say I did go to college, but let’s say I decided to go pre-law instead of advertising as my major. What would law school have been like? What would Boston have been like in the early 90s? Would I still be on the East Coast working as a lawyer? Would I be a Assistant D.A. as I once hoped I’d be?
Would things be better or would they be worse? As I’m asking myself all these questions it dawns on me… none of it matters, because I am the decisions I’ve made. If I hadn’t done the things I have done, I would’t be who I am today… and for better or worse, I kind of like who I am… warts and all.
The thing of it is, that wishing that things were different or wondering if you’ve made the right decisions in life is really self-defeating. Sure, second guessing is natural, but that doesn’t make it right. While we can all use the knowledge of forethought, it ruins the surprise and surprises are reason enough to wake up from one day to the next.
The Red Queen who knows I hate surprises might disagree with the above statement. Let me rephrase then… I hate planned surprises which are completely different than the everyday surprises that I actually enjoy.
I like waking up and not having a clue about what is gonna happen. I like not knowing what is gonna happen minute to minute even though I’m kind of a control freak by nature.
Right now I’m struggling with what has become as of late my biggest decision of my daily life… should I get out of bed and write or should I get up, get dressed, walk over to the local starbucks, get an iced coffee and write there?