It’s how you look!”
Billy Crystal doing a spot on imitation of Fernando Lamas would say that often and right now, that’s about the best way I can put it when it comes to this blog. For quite some time I’ve struggled with finding the inspiration and the time to write in this blog, but even when the motivation is lacking, I know that writing is what keeps me from picking up an AK-47 (Thanks for not renewing the ban, Georgie!) and spraying a busload of tourists on South Kihei Road.
So, this cosmetic change (I’m not sure it qualifies as an improvement) is at least something I can say is different even if only temporarily so.
UPDATE: Originally, the image of Billy Crystal as ‘Nando was not part of this post. I did a cursory search for the picture and found that it was almost impossible to obtain. I like to think I’m a master when it comes to Internet searches. I knew what Boolean search strings were and how to use them long before Al Gore invented the Internet or Vinton Cerf developed ARPANET; use whichever creationist theory you subscribe to.
I was among the first 100 people with consumer accounts on CERFNet, possibly the first commercially available Dial Up Internet Service (eventually eaten up by AT&T). I write these things here not to name drop or exhibit my complete lack of shame when it comes to all things nerdy, but to simply illustrate the idea that when I try to find something on the Internet and fail, there is something terribly wrong with the world… possibly CONSPIRACY level wrong. I began working out the possible reasons why Nando couldn’t be found on the Internet. Could George Bush, feeling ashamed that he didn’t push for a continued ban on assault weapons, decide that keeping the world safe from visages of Nando in white polyester would be a suitable way of laying claim to the title protector of the free world? Was the real Fernando Lamas a Mason hell-bent on burying all evidence of the mockery Crystal made of his stately manner? What could the answer be? Why, oh, why couldn’t I find one decent image?
I didn’t give up looking for a suitable picture of Billy Crystal imitating Fernando Lamas, but I was rather perplexed considering that I don’t think you could walk six feet back in 1984 without some wit (or half-wit) uttering, “You look mahvelous dahling!” In fact, I challenge anyone around the continental United States in 1984 to tell me they have not seen a magazine cover, picture, SNL skit, or other media representation of Crystal’s famous imitation. I double-dog dare you. Be forewarned though… I’ll call you a liar (possibly a fucking liar depending on how lame you sound when you say it) and mean it.
But I digress. I searched high and low and couldn’t get a decent image. I found various links to Crystals album, Mahvelous!, some random shots of Crystal in various film roles, Academy Award appearances, and Industry events, but finding a good image of Nando seemed almost impossible to obtain. The Official SNL site wasn’t much help and this SNL archive site, while a bit better, still fell miserably short of providing a good shot of Nando in his Hideaway.
If you have some time, why not try to one-up me. The rules are simple. Use the web, perform the search yourself (asking the neighborhood techie for help is verbotten!), and find an image of Billy Crystal as Fernando Lamas that is at least 300 pixels by 300 pixels. Ready? Go!